Whatever… I’m done…

July 26, 2008 at 9:56 pm | In General | Leave a Comment
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Yesterday, July 25th 2008, Bangalore serial blasts. 8 blasts rock city. 2 dead.

Today, July 26th 2008, Ahmedabad serial blasts. 16 blasts. Over 45 dead.

Why were there blasts? “I DON’T KNOW!”

Who did it? “I DON’T KNOW!”

Who were the ones killed and injured? “I DON’T KNOW!”

Bangalore is over 500 Kms away from where I live, Ahmedabad is over 1000 Kms away. So, why do I even care? “I DON’T KNOW!”

Where are we heading with this? “I DON’T KNOW!”

Importance…

July 24, 2008 at 1:00 am | In Personal | Leave a Comment
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How important can you be in someone’s life? How important can someone be in your life? How do you measure this importance?

We often hear people saying, “I can’t live without you, you are that important to me.” Is anyone really that important? Practically thinking… NO! So what are the limits here? How much can someone be affected by one person’s loss?

My neighbor lost her husband a few months ago. She is 50 something, has 3 kids, the eldest being 22 years old and youngest being 16. She went half crazy when this happened. It took her over 2 months to recover.

Imagine, you spend 80 percent of the day with one person, or thinking about that one person. And then that person suddenly leaves. How much emptiness will you feel? I’d say, 80 % of my day would seem missing… I’d be lost, for a very long time, till I find ways to occupy myself with work… work that is enough to fill up 80 % of my day.

Imagine, you feel you are the most important person to someone. You feel that person values you most amongst all his/her contacts… and suddenly some day you come to know you are priority level 3 or 4… how would you feel?

How lost can you feel? how left out can you be? How much of loneliness can you bear?

Protected: The night I cried…

July 24, 2008 at 12:31 am | In Personal | Enter your password to view comments
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I feel old…

July 13, 2008 at 9:29 pm | In Personal | 2 Comments
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I’m 20 years old, but honestly, I feel much older. I was walking past my standard 12 physics coaching class today when I happened to look up to the window of the class and a strange feeling came over me. Something I’ve not felt in quite a while…

I still remember the times in 12th std. coaching classes. Those crushes, butterflies in the stomach when you see the person you have a crush on, the tingly feeling when you sit next to them. The way you wouldn’t even mind sitting for an extra class, just to be with them. Saving up pocket money to buy gifts or cards. Bunking lectures to slip onto the beach or just any other hangout.

It feels so immature when I think of it now. Like I was so very kiddish. Just liking someone so much that I’d go that extra mile just to make them feel good, or make them smile, or just be with them.

The same things continued even as I entered college. It’s been hardly 2 years now, but it feels all so distant. Feels like I’ve grown old. Like I’m never gonna be that kid again. Feels like I’ve lost something on the journey to growing up. I used to love that feeling. Today I felt strange when I got that feeling. Like I am going numb in certain parts of my brain. Like it’s stopped responding to some sensations. I don’t really understand.

I don’t really understand whether this change has come due to the relationship I’ve had or that I’ve just grown up… I just know that I don’t like it. Today when I passed by my coaching classes, there was just one thing on my mind…

I WISH I COULD GET THAT FEELING AGAIN!!!

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