We all try to think of ourselves as nice, good people… But no one can ignore their past mistakes. I always say, “The only people without skeletons are those without closets.” I mean the only people who do not have some imbalance in their pats are those who do not have a past. I may come off as a pessimist here, but I speak from experience.

How do we define “GOOD” and “BAD” or “RIGHT” and “WRONG”?

Something that is good, may not necessarily be right, and something that is bad, may not necessarily be wrong. And in the same way, something that is right, may not be good and something that is wrong, need not be bad…

Right and wrong are mostly our perceptions. Each one has his own ideals and principle and value system that defines the right and wrong for them. So, the right and wrong will differ from person to person. It is in the concept of right and wrong that the grey shades of life emerge. It is the times of human behavior and circumstances that we cannot define as being right and wrong. It is mostly because our emotions do not support out thoughts and there is a clash of concept. A third person, who does not comprehend what the person in question is feeling, can mostly define the shades of grey into right or wrong. And that’s when we judge…

Good and bad is more of a literal concept. Once again, good and bad is relative from person to person, but people with similar belief systems can relate their thoughts in such situations. There are no grey areas here, but they are just indecisive…

I have dabbled amongst the grey shades in my life quite a bit till my mind cleared itself of emotion. And I have tried to keep a sound value system for all my actions and decisions. It doesn’t always go in favor of my emotions, but I have learnt to strike a balance between what my heart says and what my mind commands… But a lot of times, the heart wants what the heart wants… I have made my peace with that too.

Yes, it’s my birthday today… And yes, I feel old… er… I am not a big fan of parties, unless the party means travelling… Does not necessarily have to be some far off place, just going out, hanging out with close friends and family, that’s the life…

I love waiting up though. To see who wishes me at midnight, even though I cannot answer calls mostly… The excitement is just too much to see how many people remembered and how many forgot…

I know that this birthday is gonna be different, coz many of the people I want here with me are far away from me… geographically… of course they live in my heart all the time…

I don’t think I need to thank my parents coz if it weren’t for em, I wouldn’t be here…

I want to thank Loverboy (read Shreyas…), for being by my side through thick and thin, and tolerating my nonsense through everything…

I wanna thank dEE, for being the lubricant of the group, smoothening things out on every rough turn and protecting us frm everything…

I wanna thank Muncho (read Manchit…) for being Muncho… and giving us a different perspective on the world around us…

I wanna Thank Ni Pat for keeping us alive and kicking and together…

I want to thank Jay for being there at all the times I needed someone but couldn’t say it out loud…

I wanna thank Poo for keeping me company wen there was no one else around, and staying put even when I said I didn’t need anyone…

My list of thanks would have ended here conventionally… but there a few late entries…

My life would have been on a different course if I had not met Bobo (read Prasad Pankar…) … Thank you for being a part of my lil’ world…

Another thanks to Akshu for becoming a part of my life and giving me some amazing memories to cherish for the rest of my life…

The list isn’t over yet…

A very special thanks to Fluffy, for making me smile even in the roughest of times, in ur presence and your absence, in fun and in seriousness, in busy schedules and in laziness…

I consider myself lucky to be blessed with such wonderful people in my life… It’s been an honour knowing you and being a part of your lives… May the almighty bless ur lives with everything that you have ever given anyone and much much more, because you deserve it…

Loads of Love…

Nothing happens by chance, it happens by design… and it’s designed by you, in your thought process, through the forces of the universe!!!

Said the philosopher in our class standing in front of us. And we all had almost the same expression… “Half a question mark” on our faces… Well, it didn’t make complete sense to any of us; we aren’t all philosophers after all.

The man in front of us was Mr. Prasad Pankar. At that point of time, for our interests, our teacher. And no, it wasn’t a philosophy class, it was a photography class. A pretty unique photography class. Aesthtics of Photography… In other words, Photography as an Artform…

He proceeded to explain what he meant by his quote.

“I don’t believe in luck. Everything that happens to you happens for a reason, and it happens by your thinking. Nothing happens randomly. When you think or doing something or you wish for something to happen in a particular way, your thought is released into the universe and picked up by the forces around you. It then remains suspended in the universe till the right time to be realized by the universe.”

“Whatever it maybe: something as big as you wishing to have a big house or something as small as a scene in your imagination which you might want to capture on film…”

Prasad is not only the topmost photographer of the state (Goa), he is a guide, a mentor, a friend, a teacher, a philosopher, a guru and so much more in so many different ways. He is a true artist…

And even now as I am trying to describe how much my life has changed since meeting him and being in his classes or just being with him, I can’t seem to describe it, words just don’t do enough justice…

For now, all I know is that it wasn’t by chance that I met you and decided to attend your classes… and that’s working pretty good for me…

Thank you so much boss!!! You’re the MAN!!!

If you are familiar with the popular superhero characters which came forth in the 1900s (Superman, Spiderman, Flash, Daredevil, Batman, etc) they inspire us, to speak the least. Or at least that is what they were created for. And in general, in their comic book or cartoon series versions, they are looked up as heroes by the general public. This is so also in the newer version movies. There is, however, one superhero with whom it is not so.

BATMAN!

It’s different with this character. The fictional city of Gotham does not even approve of him doing good. In fact they don’t even realize he is doing the right thing. They consider him to be the criminal. And true to his character he continues to do good without the acknowledgement of the general public.

I never thought much of the character of Batman. Frankly, because he did not have superpowers. He was a superhero only due to technology. That was until I saw “The Dark Knight” again a few days back. And I actually paid attention to it. And that’s when I realized, it’s not just doing the good thing in the eyes of the people that Batman does… It’s doing the right thing irrespective of what his image he will hold in the eyes of the people that sets him apart.

I know of one more character that portrays a similar character. VAN HELSING – The monster slayer. And I am referring to the movie here (Not the original character of Doctor Van Helsing). He is one who goes around the world vanquishing evil and the people around him blame him for his killings and have termed him Murderer. He never looks back or tries to clear his name.

When I was a kid, it was all about the littlest of things… Getting new books, new bags, new rainy footwear, new raincoat/umbrella… and then going to school during the rains, meeting friends after a whole two months, playing in the water, jumping around in the muck …

The monsoons have always marked a special place for me… somehow, every monsoon has brought something special for me. And it generally comes with a mixed surprise. These things bring out the best in me, and they’re generally so strong that the hold the potential to turn my life upside down. And every time I am in a slightly unstable state, and it rains, my thoughts overpower me and I feel my life turning upside down…

It so happens that we may be at a point in our life when everything is going the way it is supposed to… everything seems just right. And we don’t wanna screw it up. But invariably circumstances bring us to a point wherein we know some things are not in the best interests as they should be in.

But a lot of times we end up doing something stupid. We ignore those facts. We are not ready to accept the truth. We feel that unless we accept the truth and acknowledge it, it does not become true. And hence we pretend that everything is alright, and as it should be.

All our actions are based and governed on our instinct… And as living creatures, our basic instinct is protecting ourselves… And here, protecting ourselves also means making our lives more comfortable. Our protective nature extends to our loved ones too. So basically, whatever actions we take, are just to protect ourselves, or our loved ones or for betterment of our lives.

Our actions/decisions are mostly based on our feelings and not rationality or logic. And for good reason. Many times when we are faced with important decisions, we are in a tight position with two options. Do what is right, and do what feels right. Seldom does it happen that both these decisions overlap.

And the downfall of the “RIGHT” decision is that there is a very high chance of hurting ourselves or our loved ones. Hence we choose the safer option… We do what “FEELS RIGHT”.

And most of the times, it works out just fine for us… but at times when it doesn’t, things can get pretty ugly. For us and for the people around us.